"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
