i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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