So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
