how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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