He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
