is your mom at the bar?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize