Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
