we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
