Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
