Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
