We won't sleep together?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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