I hate all girls vehemently.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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