i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize