So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
