Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
