This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize