TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
