are you so shy because you have an std?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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