In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
