hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
