you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize