It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
