this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
