I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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