Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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