she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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