i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
