The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
