Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
