Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
