I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
