you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
