I'm going to jail i love you
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
