Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
