Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
the raccoons are back...
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