Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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