I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
