ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
