Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize