I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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