Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
