He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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