i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
birth control should be required to get into college
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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