Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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