Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
