Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
