he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize