look no pants
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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