So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize