Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
