But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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