FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
