you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Randomize
