if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
