You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
