There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
