Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
