she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
