it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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