I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
