are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
