and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm getting married
To pizza
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
