i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
