CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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