im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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