chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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