I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize