Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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