Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
