Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
