She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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