Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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