No awkward lesbian experiences without me
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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