Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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