he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
