Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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