my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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